9 Signs You Can Trust Your Partner 99%
Put all your business aside and take a close look at your partner. Here he is lying on the couch. In-home sweatpants. All in my phone. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Do you know this person as he really is? Genuine? Can you trust 99%?
(Do not be surprised that I do not write about 100%. The fact is that 99% is the highest score, because people are not gods, and none of us is immune from mistakes. We all “screw up” from time to time, we forget to answer -call-write, we are late, we promise and do not fulfill, etc. So 99% is even more than “good enough”!
When we hear about “trust issues” in relationships, the first thought is about cheating and physical intimacy with others. False! Secrets! Betrayal! Perhaps this is because such stories are the most piquant – everyone is gossiping about them, everyone is discussing them.
However, trust between partners is not only about having an affair on the side. This is much more. Trust, of course, is an agreement that you will only be intimate with your partner. But it is also an agreement about many other things. For example, regarding the use of alcohol, drugs, pornography, money management, lifestyle, and division of duties. About who prepares dinner today or goes to the supermarket for groceries, picks up children from school, and so on. Also, who solves this or that problem to a greater extent, takes responsibility and will not let you down for anything.
It also means that you feel safe with your partner, sexually, physically, and emotionally. This is an inner confidence that you will not be let down or betrayed either intentionally or accidentally, and even more so on purpose.
Here are the signs that this disheveled person, who is now lying on your couch in the living room and “dumb” on the phone, can be trusted and should be held on to.
“The best way to know if someone can be trusted is to trust him.” – Ernest Hemingway.
1. He talks about his business and asks what is happening with you
You talk, listen and hear each other. Moreover, the exchange of information is easy and natural: you have nothing to hide from each other and nothing to be afraid of. The partner does not expect you to read his thoughts, and you – that he himself will guess about your feelings. He tries to be as honest as possible in a relationship, so he tells what is happening in his head and heart, even if it is difficult or uncomfortable to convey it in words.
He writes or calls to see how you are doing and to make sure everything is okay: you are safe (physically and emotionally).
2. He does not hide his phone but gives it to you while driving, cooking, or something else
He calmly and openly talks about his friends, acquaintances, and friends. He doesn’t care that you don’t find out that he met with someone at lunch or drank coffee after work, he will tell you anyway. Also, he will not leave the room to answer someone’s call or message, and even more so cover the phone with his hand when you come up.
3. You can be yourself next to him
This person is not forcing you to pretend to be perfect and perfect. He does not believe that you are his property, which means your time and energy as well. You are absolutely free about who to be friends with, how to spend time, or what to get carried away with. You will not be judged or ridiculed.
When you open up and tell what is in your heart, he listens. He hears and tries to understand. Support or reassure. Such a person knows how to rejoice with you and for you. He does not criticize or humiliate for any weakness. On the contrary, he loves you as authentic and encourages you to remain that way forever. Because you are the person he wants to be with.
4. He is supportive, especially where you are vulnerable.
A young woman who was overweight, with which she courageously, but so far unsuccessfully fought, was afraid to appear naked in front of a new partner. She told him about her fears and worries, asking him to turn off the lights while she undresses in the bathroom. He only laughed at her feelings, assuring her that there was no need to hide in the bathroom and turn off the light. At the same time, he did not say a word that he loved and supported her, did not note that he appreciated her efforts, did not recall how beautiful she was. That is, he did absolutely nothing to calm her down and assure her of his love. Somewhat self-centered, isn’t it?
5. He touches you
Intimate. As a partner, not a friend or buddy. And not only when he thinks about physical intimacy.
6. Other people trust him
This makes a huge difference. Everyone trusts him: best friend, friends, colleagues, and mother. Such a person can without hesitation be entrusted with the biggest secret, being sure that he will never tell anyone or betray.
7. He takes responsibility, does not run away from it
Such a person does not expect you to control his “relationship” with alcohol or drugs, or everything else, up to career or life decisions. He sees in you an equal partner, not a crutch on which you can rely and not strain yourself. He controls his own life and is not afraid to admit mistakes. If he accidentally or breaks down – he offends or upsets, then he admits it, apologizes, and immediately corrects it.
The ability to take responsibility for your own life is a trait that says a lot about whether you can trust a person or not.
8. He asks but does not interrogate
Such a person will ask you where you are going, or who else will be at the party, besides your colleagues, but not at all in order to find out something or reproach something. He asks questions because he cares and worries about you, and not at all because he suspects something or wants to emphasize your failure.
9. He always comes. And it comes again. And again
He is always there for you. Even when he leaves for another city or country. In every sense of the word. It is deeply connected to what unites you. And you too.